From Loss to Rebirth

October 5th—a date that once held deep sorrow—now marks a celebration of transformation. For many years, this day brought back memories of loss and heartache, but it has since evolved into something beautiful: my "rebirthday." Today, I want to share how this day has transformed from a period of mourning into a journey of growth, turning pain into purpose, and finding joy, love, and a deeper sense of self.

In 2009, I experienced a loss that would forever alter the course of my life. Carlos Acevedo, my first long-term relationship and partner of 13 years, passed away from liver cancer. At just 39 years old, I found myself widowed, with no children and feeling utterly lost. For the next year and a half, I allowed myself to grieve fully. During this time, I invited myself on a trip to Europe with Carlos's parents, a journey that was deeply reflective. It reminded me that even in the depths of grief, there are moments of beauty, new experiences, and the possibility of healing.

In 2011, I reached a turning point. I realized I had to refocus on myself and my health, which had been a lifelong struggle. Western medicine had never provided the answers I needed, so I continually sought alternative modalities to find healing and strength. That year, I decided to hire holistic nutritionist Maria Emmerich, who helped me see that true healing required more than just trying different treatments; it demanded a complete lifestyle change. I needed to distance myself from unhealthy products and the Standard American Diet, despite it being in line with conventional nutritional guidelines.

That year was a whirlwind of transformation but also brought new challenges. My best friend, Carlos’s stepfather, was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, offering little hope for recovery. During this pivotal period, an old flame resurfaced, rekindling the hope for deep connection and love. I faced powerful transformations, building the physical strength to live an active and alternative lifestyle while burying deep fears of further loss and isolation.

The year 2012 was tumultuous. In February, an old injury flared up, requiring surgery that brought my newfound passion for CrossFit to a sudden halt. In May, Carlos's father passed away, adding another layer of grief. Shortly after, the old flame abruptly extinguished, leaving me grappling with more loss. By July, the emotional toll affected my health once again, pulling me back into a place of darkness. I felt as though I had lost all the momentum I had gained toward healing—physically, mentally, and spiritually.

I returned to therapy, a familiar refuge that had supported me through many stages of my life. There, I started to face my losses and deep-seated feelings of unworthiness. Returning to therapy wasn’t just about managing pain; it was about finding the courage to embrace life again and redefine my future after loss. With time, I gathered the strength to begin dating again, despite encountering many "frogs" and "tadpoles" along the way. Finding a genuine connection was difficult, and I took several breaks to center myself.

By mid-2013, the stars aligned, and I met the man who instantly felt like a true partner for the journey ahead. From the moment we met, we both knew we had found someone to weather life's storms with. This was the start of my journey to rebirth—a journey of love, resilience, and self-discovery.

As the years passed, October 5th would bring with it old feelings of loss and grief. But in the beginning of 2015, I started working with Vivica Menegaz, which marked a significant turning point in my transition for that year. Vivica introduced me to the power of whole foods and spiritual healing. She taught me how to work with energy and helped me create space for spirituality in my life again. This process of reconnecting with my spiritual self was pivotal, allowing me to heal not just physically but emotionally and spiritually as well.

Over time, I began to notice a shift within myself. The grief that once consumed me slowly transformed into a force for new growth. No longer did I feel the need to mourn the past. I had rediscovered love, faced challenges head-on, and emerged as a stronger version of myself. By 2015, I made a conscious decision: October 5th would no longer be a day of mourning but a day of rebirth, celebrating all that had come from the ashes of loss. On that day, I shared my thoughts on Facebook:

"Today is the six-year anniversary of my rebirth. The day I was forced to see my life heading down a different path. I was extremely scared and completely devastated. I had just lost Carlos to cancer, the man that I had spent 13 years with. If I had known what wonderful things were headed my way, I would not have been so worried about my future. I would have been more accepting of the experience and more present in each moment. I am so grateful for each person who was there for me then and still present in my life now, in person or online. I am also grateful for each step in my journey thus far and feel blessed beyond my wildest dreams for where I am today. I still have struggles, and life is stressful, but each day is a new opportunity, and with each step, I find new ways to grow. With every year that passes, I become more ME, and I am excited about that. I will no longer mourn on this day; instead, I will celebrate it as my rebirthday! So… HAPPY REBIRTHDAY TO ME!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉"

Since that day, I have welcomed joy and new beginnings into my life. The anniversaries of October 5th have been filled with meaningful transitions, replacing the earlier years when I took the day off to grieve. These experiences have ranged from traveling across the country to my niece’s wedding, to sharing amazing adventures with my "new" family, and supporting my partner, David, as he began an exciting career that allows us to travel the world and enjoy incredible experiences, both together and individually.

October 5th has also become a day to embrace new routines, such as creating a potager garden. Just last year, on this day, I made the brave decision to leave my full-time job as a biological dental hygienist to become a business owner, natural health practitioner, and holistic dental health coach. This shift has opened countless opportunities to deepen my knowledge and guide others on their wellness journeys.

David has been incredibly patient and supportive of my unique perspective and my ongoing search for a healing path. His unwavering support has empowered me to pursue a new career that aligns with my passion and purpose, allowing me to share my gifts of knowledge and love with those who resonate with my views. I am deeply grateful to have such a compassionate and encouraging partner by my side.

I have also been blessed with the opportunity to be a step-parent to David’s three children. Building these relationships has been both a challenging and rewarding journey, especially with his youngest, whom I have helped raise since she was nine. Together, we have worked on building our connection, and she has become not just a stepdaughter but a soul sister. This experience has taught me how to guide rather than take the wheel, offering her the space to grow while also forcing me to face my own childhood wounds head-on. Through her, I’m learning to cultivate a more authentic existence within our family, creating a bond built on trust, support, and love.

Today, as I honor this rebirthday, I am reminded of how far I’ve come. My journey from loss to self-discovery has been filled with challenges, growth, and unexpected joys. I strive to be more than just a source of holistic knowledge; I aim to be a guide, a mirror, and a voice of truth for those seeking a healthier, more intentional life.

I encourage you to reflect on your own life’s journey. What moments have shaped you, and how can you transform them into opportunities for growth? Remember, even in the deepest darkness, there is always room for light and renewal. Together, let’s celebrate our paths and the strength that comes from each step we take toward becoming our truest selves. Here’s to every rebirth along the way.

Let's Continue This Journey Together!